You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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