I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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