my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
