I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
