Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
