i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
