i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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