Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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