Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
