i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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