Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
