there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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