She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
