this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
i am craving dick and cupcakes
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize