omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
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