No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
