thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
