is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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