big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize