Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
