my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Michael Bay diarrhea
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
