She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
