I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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