YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
