So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
