She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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