it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
