he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
