I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
