woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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