I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
How external is "for external use only"?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
