So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
