why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
someone owes me an orgasm
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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