i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
