i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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