i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
ugly people sure do ruin things
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize