Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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