You just made me feel so damn special
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
