we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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