I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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