I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
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