i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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