You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
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