he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I need water and some morals
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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