how can u be prego again
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
