"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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