Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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