I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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