Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
