Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
