Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
