I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
