i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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