She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
