Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
