remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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