...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My cat gives me a boner
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
