Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Randomize
