he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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