I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
