Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
