i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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