it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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