i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
What a dumb baby whore.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
