He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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