a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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