I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
