i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
