I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
