He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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